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The Phage – Desert Island Films

desert island

The Phage from Film Phage has kindly submitted his Desert Island Films. Read on for his choices and reasons, and be sure to check out his site.

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Desert Island Films is about choosing 8 films you would take if you were going to be stranded on a desert island and explaining your choices. They don’t necessarily have to be your favourites, just 8 films, no more or no less! You are also permitted to take one book and one novelty item which must be inanimate and of no use in escaping the island or allowing communication from outside.

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The Phage – Desert Island Films

For some the idea of being stranded on a desert island is something akin to paradise. No bills, no job, no annoying kids that throw popcorn in your hair and kick the back of your seat whilst you watch a movie. What attracts me more is the idea of a Dessert Island. Pretty sure I could cope with ease there. My bills would be payable in chocolate rain/drops, my job would be collecting the aforementioned rain drops and I could just bite the feet off the gummy children’s legs to stop them annoying me. Hey, I never said this was a paradise for everyone! My island is full of amputee gummy children.

Anyway, back on task: Desert Island Films. It’s quite an arduous task, but one I’m more than happy to try and dig my teeth into for HeadInAVice.com. It’ll probably distract me from the thought of standing outside trying to eat chocolate rain (yes, that YouTube video’s in my head now too). So let’s get down to brass taxes:

1) Pulp Fiction

desertpulpfiction

What’s not to love about this movie? It has everything! Samuel L. Jackson with an afro, lots of talk about cheeseburgers and a bit of casual forced sodomy. Something for everyone right there! I’m a huge Tarantino fan (yes, I even quite like Death Proof) and Pulp Fiction is arguably my favourite of the bunch. It’s got one of the hottest ensemble casts ever put together and an endlessly quotable script. At least I can quote lines to myself on my island.

2) Die Hard: With A Vengeance

desertdiehard

It seems that if you pair Bruce Willis with Samuel L. Jackson you’re more-or-less going to get cinematic gold. OK, we’ll overlook Unbreakable, as I know some people loathe that movie (though I think it’s half-decent), but Die Hard: With A Vengeance is definitely a winner. I like the fact that John McClane’s a bit beaten and has issues. I like that Jeremy Irons is an incredibly convincing German mercenary. And I like that Holly McClane hasn’t caused all these problems for John for the first time in the series. Man, that woman is a liability. You did the right thing John by refusing to call her back! But seriously, the film has a frantic pace, a good dose of tension and some real chemistry between Willis and Jackson. Although I find it hard to choose between the Die Hard movies, I’d have to stamp down and say that the third entry is my favourite. The first two are my favourite Christmas movies though.

3) Dumb & Dumber

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I’m pretty confident that I know more-or-less every single line in this film. Yeah, I’m that annoying person that speaks over the dialogue. If we do end up on our Dessert Island and I’m made of chocolate, feel free to bite off my tongue. Only if I’m made of chocolate though. This isn’t some kinky extra scene from The Human Centipede. Dumb & Dumber came at a time when Jim Carrey was at the zenith of his career. By this point he’d done no wrong, as The Mask and Ace Ventura had solidified him as “the” funniest man in comedy. And Jeff Daniels is the perfect co-star of the film. I’d say that the Farrelly brothers have yet to bottle lightning again, though I’m intrigued by the thought of Dumb & Dumber 2, which was on, then off, but now “back on” (supposedly). Come on guys… let’s sing together: Mock-yeah-ing-yeah-bird-yeah-yeah?-yeah!…

4) Ghostbusters

desertghost

A confession: Ghostbusters II was the first film to give me recurring nightmares when I was about five years old. For some reason I owned the VHS and would keep watching it. I was convinced Vegor – the scourge of Carpathia – would bulge through a wall, walk down the stairs and get me. So why have I picked the original film as my favourite? Well, I don’t want nightmares about Vegor on my Desert Island do I?! I’d rather dream about the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man to make my Desert Island into a Dessert Island. The combination of Akyroyd, Murray and Ramis is something to behold. It’s a shame that Zombieland will be the last time we see Bill Murray even loosely linked with the franchise, but I’m still holding onto the hope that Ghostbusters III won’t be a steaming pile of ectoplasm.

5) Iron Man

desertironman

Readers of Film Phage will know that I’m a bit of a Marvel comic books’ fan. I’m pretty much the first person in line to see the new movies as soon as they’re released and also one of the first to go “pft, that doesn’t happen in the comics!”. OK, that’s mainly been aimed at X-Men: The Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but it’s still happened. But out of all the superhero films, I think it’s the original Iron Man that I love the most. It’s an origin story, but something a bit different to the norm. There are no spiders, cosmic rays, or gamma radiation. The dude’s kidnapped and builds a suit of armour from SCRAPS. What a pro. But what makes the film so fantastic, as opposed to the character, is Robert Downey Jr. This is one guy I’d have at my fantasy dinner too. He oozes charisma in an oh-so-cocky and brash way that I can’t help but be drawn to him. If only The Phage could grow facial hair in that way. Then I’d be sure to get all the girls. On my Desert Island. Where there are none. Winner.

6) Baseketball

desertbaseketball

Just as my readers will appreciate my love for all things Marvel, they’d also notice my love for all things arising from the minds of Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I’m a huge South Park fan and probably know every episode a little too well (it’d be my Mastermind subject of choice). But instead of choosing to take South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, or Team America: World Police, I’d opt for Baseketball. Sure, the humour’s purile and dumb, but I love it. It’s like The Naked Gun through a filter of the South Park boys. Like Dumb & Dumber it’s endlessly quotable and just makes me think of some very good times. And you need those memories before you try and cave your head in with a coconut owing to the crushing loneliness and despair you’d feel on an island.

7) 28 Days Later

desert28days

As well as being a fan of Marvel and South Park, I’m also somewhat of a music aficionado. Before I became the infectious one known as The Phage, I was in fact involved heavily in the music industry and scouted bands on a national and international level. And for me, there is no better soundtrack to a film than that of 28 Days Later. The band behind many of those songs? Canada’s own Godspeed You! Black Emperor. The opening notes to the track East Hastings immediately make me picture Cillian Murphy alone on Westminster Bridge with the Houses of Parliament before him, but with not a soul to be seen anywhere. What’s so special about this? Well, I like to be reminded of my home in the UK. And no film captured it as beautifully as 28 Days Later. God bless Danny Boyle’s taste in music – he’s quite the progressive music fan. And let’s face it, those rage-fuelled “zombies” were pretty bad ass too. Everyone needs a favourite zombie movie.

8) Fight Club

desertfightclub

If I’m going to go gradually insane on my island of solitude I don’t want to take some film about a basketball called Wilson, co-starring Tom Hanks, no no… I want to take the one that really lets you know how to go certifiably crazy. So crazy that you’re meeting imaginary people, living a totally bipolar life and eating trees that you swear taste of sweet sweet Cadbury’s Caramel. Not all of these attributes feature in Fight Club, but you get the point. Brad Pitt rarely makes a bad movie (see my “book” choice for a possible contradiction to this), but for me this is one of his best. Not that the guy really ages at all, but he looks fantastic in this film – he dresses at the height of cool and just oozes style. Then you have that countered by Ed Norton’s fantastically grounded performance. AND one of the last known sightings of Helena Bonham Carter before she met Tim Burton and went all kooky. Plus it has Bob. Bob has bitch-tits.

Book: World War Z by Max Brooks

desertbook

I’m not an avid book reader. It really needs to be well written for me to be drawn in, and World War Z delivers. If you’ve not heard the title before, then you soon will after Brad Pitt (badly) adapts the book to the silver screen. Let’s get one thing straight now – the book and the film appear to have nothing in common spare the title. The book is a retrospective look at the zombie holocaust (World War Z) that began in China. It’s told as a number of accounts from people all over the world. It’s an amazing book that demands to be read. I think the film will just be really fast zombies forming tidal waves. Seriously? Why Brad, why?? I’m hoping to be on my island before the film hits cinemas in 2013, so I’ll avoid the film adaptation. Someone let me know how it goes though yeah? Just swim out to me and say if it was good or not. Depending on my sanity, I may try and eat your feet though. So it’s your call if you just shout it out from some distance.

Object: Cough Medicine

desertcoughmedicine

It’s the one thing you can never get when you’re abroad: your favourite cough medicine. It’s always some weird looking brand. And no doubt by deserted Desert Island wouldn’t even have a pharmacy! A Phage needs his medicine don’t you know? And even if I don’t develop a cold, I’ll be sure to take the trippy kind of medicine so that I can expedite my journey into hysteria and imagining things that aren’t really there. I’m pretty sure that once you’re dosed up, sand will taste just like ice cream and the sea’ll taste like Pepsi Max… The Dessert Island fantasy is complete.

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Thanks again to The Phage for taking the time to join the prestigious Head In A Vice ”castaway” list. If you would like to submit your choices and add your name to THIS LIST, please drop me an email to – tysoncarter@hotmail.co.uk

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41 Comments

  1. Thanks so much for doing this PHAGE!! Love your list, and also the fun you had with it. I always like it when people go the extra mile with descriptions and its funny to read. Appreciate it and honoured to feature your choices. Pulp Fiction is now the #1 most picked which is great to see 🙂

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  2. Any list with BASEketball and Die Hard with a Vengeance is ok in my book.

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  3. Great list! You definitely have some great picks on there, and I loved your reasons for each of them. 🙂

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  4. anb

     /  January 22, 2013

    Great call on Die Hard With a Vengeance. Seems to get overshadowed by the first two films but definitely the best.

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    • Roll on the fifth instalment I say! Though the thought of him being all buddy buddy with a “son” worries me a bit.

      Unless his name is Zeus… or Jesus… that’ll give me warm memories.

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  5. Awesome choices! You even put Dumb and Dumber..that movie was so hilarious! Haven’t seen it in ages though. Probably should revisit it soon!

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    • Run it back-to-back with BASEketball for one of an evening. Probably not a double to watch if you’re trying to impress anyone with your sophistication though…

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  6. Very solid list, good choices!

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  7. Reblogged this on Film Phage.

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  8. Great choices!!! Nice to see Dumb and Dumber getting some love.

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  9. wordschat

     /  January 22, 2013

    Some neat choices here Phase. I’ll pass on Carey though he was scary menacing in The Cable Guy. Every Desert stash should have some Bruce Willis and Arnie.

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    • C’mon Wordschat, put some Willis & Arnie on your island and send in your picks 😉

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      • wordschat

         /  January 23, 2013

        I’ve been thinking of titles and am near ready to email you with a Desert Island submission. Not sure if you’re into submission haha.

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        • Lol if it gets you on the island ill give the submission a go 😉

          Cheers buddy, can’t wait to see your choices :p

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  10. Some great picks here, I’m a fan of Ghostbusters making the list – no trip would be complete without it!

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    • Tyson – Do you know how many times Fight Club has actually been taken to the island? I can’t recall seeing it on many lists before and yet it should be such a popular choice. 🙂

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      • Only 3 times believe it or not. I also figured it would be much higher. Pulp Fiction is most picked with 8 🙂

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        • Yeah, seems odd that’s it so rare.
          It’s good to see Pulp Fiction riding high though 🙂

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        • Still less than 1 in 5 people taken it though. Shows how varied and eclectic everyone’s tastes are 😛

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        • Yeah thinking about it, I don’t think it made mine actually! I think I already had Kill Bill on there and didn’t want two Tarantino’s taking up slots.
          It’s good to see such variation across the board though.

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        • No you didn’t take it! 🙂

          I did, was my only Tarantino I believe…….tricky to pick 8 as everyone has found out.

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        • Very difficult! 😀
          I reckon I picked KB just because it’s so re-watchable, but Pulp is the better film.

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        • Yeah but unless you take both Kill Bills its not complete 🙂

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        • True, but as much as I like the second volume I could watch the first one over and over again and never grow tired of it. 😀

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        • I could be alone, but I prefer Vol 2. Mainly because Im a huge Madsen fan, and he is amazing in this! 🙂

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        • I agree that Madsen is fantastic here – the ‘deserves to die’ speech is possibly the best moment out of the two films. Such a great line delivery!

          I don’t dislike Vol 2 as so many other people seem to, in fact I think they are pretty close in terms of quality, but V1 will always win when I have to pick between them 🙂

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    • Cheers dude! Are you more of a Ghostbusters or Ghostbusters 2 fan? People always slate the second one, but I fail to see why to be honest. Aside from the whole ‘nightmare-inducing’ painting thing. But that may be a personal thing!

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  11. Abbi

     /  January 23, 2013

    I get the feeling that my husband and The Phage could easily be best friends.

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  12. Good book choice 🙂

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  13. Nice eclectic list, Mr. Phage…but are you sure you’d want to be stranded on an island with a three-eyed woman serving you cough medicine?

    And I ask this knowing that it may prompt some below-the-belt responses…

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