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Seed (2007)

seed movie poster

After a seemingly undead man is bound and buried alive, he digs himself back to the surface and seeks bloody vengeance on those who caused him his suffering.

What do all the following movie stars have in common:

Dominic Purcell, Dolph Lundgren, Burt Reynolds, Jason Statham, Ron Perlman, Matthew Lillard, Ray Liotta, Michael Madsen, Billy Zane, Michelle Rodriguez, Sir Ben Kingsley, Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff. 

They have all appeared in a Uwe Boll film. Before you get excited, they aren’t all in the film I’m reviewing now, Seed. I’m just trying to bring in to focus what ‘the worst director in the world‘ has achieved with his casting. Sure, money talks. Of course. But still, he has got some pretty big names in some pretty shitty movies. Everyone hates on Boll, and a lot of times before his movies are even out they get bad ratings. People step on the bandwagon and say how bad he is. If you have seen his films and hate them, that’s one thing. To say they are bad without watching them, not cool. So today I have decided to do a ‘Boll Day‘ and feature what I would call his two best movies.

In a bid to maybe change an opinion or two on him, did you know that not one of the films he has directed has been awarded the Razzie for Worst Picture? I think the best thing that ‘the only genius in the whole fucking movie business’ (his words) has done was when he challenged his critics to ‘put up or shut up’. In June 2006, his production company issued a press release stating that Boll would challenge his five harshest critics each to a 10-round boxing match. The online gambling site GoldenPalace.com decided to sponsor this event, dubbing it “Raging Boll“. A lot was drawn up in late August 2006, featuring Kyanka, Rue Morgue magazine writer Chris Alexander, webmaster of Cinecutre Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello, Ain’t it Cool News writer Jeff Sneider and Chance Minter, amateur boxer and website critic. Boll fought and won against all five participants. So anyone who gets harsh on him in the comments here today, be warned, he may challenge you! Surely if I can get a review favorited on Twitter by Shea Whigham (Splinter, Boardwalk Empire), I deserve a personal visit and handshake from Boll after my efforts today!

Shea

To kick-off ‘Boll Day‘, part 1 will feature a film called Seed. I’ll warn you now, there is some very messed up stuff in this movie. And it doesn’t make much sense, and to be honest it is not a very good movie. BUT it is not the worst movie in the world, which a lot of critics tend to label it as. Seed actually opens with a warning that they have used real life footage of animal cruelty and it’s excuse is ‘to make a statement about humanity’. We then cut to our serial killer Seed watching that footage. It’s tough to watch, mainly because it involves real animal torture, but it was given to the film-makers by the animal charity, and isn’t the killer doing it, just to clarify.

As a boy, a reclusive and antisocial Max Seed was disfigured in a school bus crash that killed everyone else involved in it. In 1973, Seed began torturing and murdering people, filming some of his victims starving to death in his locked basement, and ultimately racking up a body count of 666 (which is a ridiculous and unbelievable number by the way). In 1979, Seed is arrested by Detective Matt Bishop (Michael Paré, who appears in most Boll movies) in a sting operation that claims the lives of five of Bishop’s fellow officers.

michael pare

We also get to see a collection of tapes made by the serial killer. Again, more disturbing footage in the shape of a cockroach, a mouse, a dog, a baby and a woman (individually, not at the same time) all being left in a locked up room to die and their bodies decomposing. This is actually a pretty good effect as we literally see them decomposing in a time condensed fashion.

seed prison

Seed is finally executed. However, in this movie there is a law that states if you survive electrocution 3 times, then you can be let go (I know, but stay with me here). He obviously survives so Bishop, the Warden, the doctor, and the executioner all decide to pronounce him dead and bury him alive. Instead of shooting him in the head, making sure he’s dead, they just bury him with the presumption that it’s over. Obviously, it’s not, Seed climbs out and then begins taking revenge.

seed

Up until this point, I had high hopes, and so far so good. Then plot holes like this started appearing, and more and more random events popped up. For example there is a scene of Seed beating a woman to death with a mallet. It’s disturbing (hell, maybe even slightly creative and realistic looking) but served no real purpose other than showing some gratuitous torture. It exists only to exhibit Uwe Boll’s rage at the critics. It has been reported that Seed is Boll’s answer to his often insanely hateful critics, the career of his on-screen serial killer paralleling the career of Boll himself. It’s just too bad that the script and characters only exist so Boll can enact torturous and cruel deaths upon them.

seed hammer

It’s poorly structured, confusing in its continuity, the pacing is uneven and yet is still Boll’s best work up until this point (2007). It’s not a film I can recommend to everyone, or many people at all really. It is hard to watch and extreme in its brutality. Yet if you want to see some flashes of good work from Boll, with an ending that is dark, twisted and surprisingly effective, and proof that he isn’t the worst director out there, then maybe Seed is a good place to start. The review coming up later today (two in a day, I spoil you!) is for his best film by far (Rampage, click for my thoughts) so maybe in a way Seed did some good and showed Boll that he can make a decent, serious film that isn’t a video game rip off.

4 stars

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41 Comments

  1. I’m sorry, I stopped reading when you said he used real life animal cruelty shots. To me that film will be avoided from here to eternity.

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    • I’ll take that bit out…… 😉

      Yep, thats fair enough. But for full disclosure, I have to mention it. It is something that I hate, as I hope everyone does. I’m not hugely sure why it is in there, aside from people walking out of the film, and maybe he felt that was a good reaction?

      Obviously he wasnt doing the animal harm, this isnt as bad as something like Cannibal Holocaust, it was videos loaned/given to him by PETA, so I would guess they wanted to show how bad some people are. I dont know. 😦

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      • I suppose you’re right. We do see animal cruelty on the news, but surely he could have used special effects. But as you say, that may be the reaction he was after. Maybe put that bit about animal cruelty right at the very end.

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        • Sadly, thats how the film opens, and I wouldn’t be doing my ‘job’ if I didn’t mention it. If it stops people reading then maybe the film isnt for them and I saved you some time reading 🙂

          Its very much an extreme film, and slightly different in tone to my last review of ‘Its A Wonderful Life’!! But I have to show there are films like this out there, and yet surprisingly despite the PETA videos (which are no different than they animal charities show off) the film isnt all bad. If you like hardcore extreme slasher movies.

          Appreciate you commenting though Alastair.

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        • Thinking about it, on the plus side, he may have caused more people to help in the fight against Animal Cruelty so there may be a plus side to it

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        • The fact that he has got you thinking is a plus! Boll’s aim is to shock, and by putting in real life footage definitely helps him succeed. From a critical point of view it serves no real purpose in the film……but I have to hope somewhere behind it all is a message for good. Who knows.

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        • Thanks 🙂

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        • Anytime! 😛

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  2. You’ve made me quite curious to watch this. I’m aware of Uwe’s stuff but I hadn’t heard of this one and I do like to check out controversial things for myself.
    If he could pull together the dream cast mentioned at the beginning of your post… now that would be quite something! x

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    • The controversy is what initially led me to this, but having seen a lot of his other work, I figure I should maybe point out this (and the review coming up later) which arent too bad. Seed isnt an easy watch, but if you dont mind some extreme stuff, you might like it (well, not hate it at least!)

      I wouldnt put it past him to get all that cast in one film. Seed had a budget of $10 million……no idea how he gets these budgets. Amazing really! Thanks for stopping by Lily 🙂

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  3. Haha, I absolutely love that you start this as a Uwe Boll defense and then have to start the review with “I’ll warn you now, there is some very messed up stuff in this movie. And it doesn’t make much sense, and to be honest it is not a very good movie. BUT it is not the worst movie in the world, which a lot of critics tend to label it as.”

    I haven’t reviewed anything of his except for Alone in the Dark, which may have been one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

    Nice work with the Shea Whigham shout out. I love him in Boardwalk Empire, and was happy to see him having fun in Machete!

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    • Haha, well I want to try and do something that isn’t just trashing the guy, but I have to remain honest and say what I see!!

      Alone in the Dark, man what a shitfest!! The review later tonight isnt as extreme as this (kind of) and will be the best review of his work I can ever do. Unless he tops it of course?! It could happen!

      Cheers, yeah made up with such a simple thing like a twitter favourite, but little things right! Cheers John 🙂

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  4. Great review Tyson, but there’s still no way anyone could make me watch this. I don’t even care that Boll made it, stuff like this is just to over the top for me. I have a pretty firm stomach, but, ugh, I think I’ll skip this one.

    Anyway, I once saw Boll’s In The Name of the King at a party in the middle of the night; and you know what, it didn’t make my brain melt. It was dumb, stupid, filled with plot holes and made me laugh more than it should’ve, but I’d watch it again if the times called for it. 🙂

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    • Cheers William, no worries at all. I don’t blame you, its aiming for the minority really, I appreciate that, but I have to do my bit and shine some light on the obscure 🙂

      Name of the King, man what a cast!! Liotta & Statham!! Its funny in a bad kind of way, but hell I’d watch it again for comedy value! Cheers buddy 🙂

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  5. I’ll watch anything horror, Boll or not (and he’s really not that good, but neither are a lot of others). Seed was brutality for the sake of brutality, which isn’t a bad thing.

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  6. I can’t believe I heard good and Uwe mentioned in the same sentence. My friend and I saw House of The Dead? and we found it so laughably bad that we made a vow to see all Uwe movies in the theater. That plan doesn’t exist anymore, but we did make it to In The Name of The King before we stopped that nonsense. I also don’t know how he gets so many great actors in his movies. Boggles the mind. The guy really just makes horrible movies. He might be a modern version of Ed Wood.

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  7. After initially thinking, Boll who? I then found someone mentioned Alone in the Dark…nuff said. Nice clinical look at the film btw…

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  8. theipc

     /  January 27, 2013

    House of the Dead = TERRIBLE
    Alone in the Dark = TERRIBLE
    Bloodrayne = TERRIBLE
    In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale = FUCKING TERRIBLE

    And this: “He makes better films then The Innkeepers thats for sure” are you INSANE???????

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    • I’m not disputing those claims about his other films my friend. I agree with your assessment. I’m merely here as I stated to offer up 2 films he has done that aren’t FUCKING TERRIBLE. 🙂

      The Innkeepers jibe was purely for a Mike Face Off banter, the same as now I can say to you its also better than REC 3 🙂

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  9. It was fun to read about Boll, and Seed is a watchable, bizarre movie. I didn’t know who Boll was until I made the mistake of watching Bloodrayne in the theater, thinking that a movie with Michael Madsen and Ben Kingsley should be entertaining. It was like being in a museum of bad. Great article Tyson, I hope Boll makes mention of it.

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    • Cheers buddy. 🙂

      Yeah I’ll watch anything with Madsen in, but I struggled with Bloodrayne. Sadly Boll isnt on Twitter which is how Ive had mentions before, but I might try find him on Facebook!

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  10. I’ve only heard of Uwe Boll in a very fun book about bad films, titled ‘Showgirls, Teen Wolves, and Astro Zombies’, so not having seen any of Boll’s films, I have no right to critique them. But I will say I that I really enjoyed your review, and like Alistair said to lead things off, I’d have a very hard time watching Seed, simply because I’d have a hard time watching actual animal cruelty (and actual human cruelty, for that matter). Maybe I’ll just wait for the Pixar version…

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    • Thats puts you above most people Todd, as Boll has some harsh critics, most of which have never seen his work and still slate him. I agree with those that have seen most of his films, and they arent great, BUT credit where it is due, Seed, and more importantly Rampage, arent the worst things in the world, unlike people say they are.

      Yeah this is super cruel, so I’d steer clear and wait for the Pixar version….good luck with the wait! Cheers Todd 🙂

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  1. Rampage (2009) | Head In A Vice

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